Monday, November 10, 2008

No One Told Me I'd Lose My Hair

My husband was gazing at me across the table at lunch today. But, not in that "You're so beautiful" way. Instead, his eyes were fixated on a very distinct area.

"What's that?"



"Oh, you mean my hair? Oh, that's nothing. Just new hair."

That "new" hair I am referring to is right on the front area of my left-side part. It might as well have a huge red humiliating circle around it like grade school teachers used to make when they really wanted to let you know your answer was wrong, wrong, wrong.

Ok, it's not like comb-overs are in my future or anything, but I have lost a decent amount of hair as a result of participating in The Human Milk Project... twice.

It has grown back each time, thank God. The thing is, it has come back looking freakishly unlike my hair pre-children. Sort of like in that movie, Pet Cemetery, when the kid was brought back to life all creepy, freaky, and weird.

Occasionally I'll give my horn-hair in the front there, a little spit-shine, which rectifies the issue for a few minutes while the hair is wet. Gross I know, but effective. I also have put Bed Head on that area so that it will lay flat. No dice. Then it just sticks out vertically instead of straight up. On top of it, the hair has become like a poison dart arrow sticking straight out from my head, ready to stab someone in the forehead, chest, or shoulder, depending on how tall you are.

So, I just need to be patient. Just let the little guys grow.

Wait...I just had a thought...Rogaine!


1 comment:

taraneh said...

i hear ya! no one told me my nose would get bigger and my feet would go up 1/2 a size post babies. so not cool. they seriously better appreciate all the beauty they sucked out of me. (persians have this belief that when a woman is pregnant with a girl, she becomes ugly during pregnancy, because the baby is sucking her mom's beauty and the opposite is true with having a son- the pregnant mom is goddess-esque.) i hold these truths to be self-evident. i looked like ass and gained 60 pounds with each.