Sunday, November 9, 2008

Can I Get Minute?


I honestly never imagined how hard this job was going to be. Parenting blows any other job out of the water in terms of difficulty. And, I have Roslyn two days week so that I can do some work. I still find it challenging...wait, that is an understatement. I find it to be almost unbearably difficult at times. My neighbor across the street is the crazy lady on the block -- stay-at-home mom of three kids. She's been doing what I'm doing now for YEARS. I'd be batshit-borderline-psychotic crazy too. I never thought it would be possible to be bored and unbelievably busy...all at the same time.

Pick up the baby, put down the baby; crap, dropped the bottle; must lean down sideways and bend legs backwards to reach bottle and not drop baby. Put baby for nap; run and hold Marley so she feels loved. Baby wakes up. Load two children into car (about half-an-hour to prepare just to go - coats, bottle, water, shoes) to drive five minutes to get art supplies for Halloween decorations. Buy art supplies while managing 495 questions a minute from the preschooler; load both kids back into car; get into car exhausted already; crap, it's only 11:30 a.m. Back to house to start lunch and squeeze in an art project so as to avoid meltdown from preschooler; thank God they both eat without losing it; breathe a sigh of relief. Put baby down for nap. Start art project with preschooler; try not to be impatient with her mishandling of the glue; finish one witch after an hour..yes, I said an hour. Get preschooler upstairs for nap. Read book and sing song, which is not "long enough." Meltdown ensues. Resist urge to run screaming from the room, out the door, and down the street while ripping my hair out. The neighbors might wonder...Preschooler quiets down.

Aaaaaah, quiet...I run to the bathroom to finally...sit on the toilet, hurry up and take a dump so I can have a few minutes to No sooner do I wipe my ass, cries ensue. Baby is awake.

Well, at least I got to take that dump.

Thanks for listening. And, I was laughing as I was writing. Granted it was a little bit high-pitched and maniacal-sounding, but hey, still laughing...


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