Oh please God, no...say it isn't so. I'm bloated, eating like a horse and mean as a viper. Please hold off. Just until Monday. I can't, can't, can't be hosting Aunt Flo come Sunday.
I'm lighting a candle tonight and praying to a shrine of Always overnighters with wings. Oh holy maxi, please have mercy. Save the cramps, nausea and bloating until Monday. I promise, I'll never roll my eyes, mutter "Fucking hell," or curse my womanhood ever again.