The End of an Era

we're done having kids. we knew if we had a third, that would be our "push" kid (fine with one, comfortable with two, pushing the envelope with three) and there would be no more after that. but now it's official. measures have been taken. permanent ones. i won't go into the gory details, but let's just say that for once, when it comes to anything having to do with birth control, i am not the heavy.

so, how has all of this made me feel? well...weird. not sad, not happy...just weird.

it's like part of me is like "woohoo! it's a free-for-all!" and then part of me is like, oh. never again will i have those little excited-scared "i'm pregnant!" butterflies in my stomach.

a mixed bag is a good way to describe it.

our family feels utterly complete the way it is. i can't imagine parenting -- the way i want to parent, that is -- any more children. but still, to finally shut the door completely is a little strange. i've been at some stage of having and caring for babies for the last seven years.

then i saw a pregnant woman in the grocery store yesterday and it hit me...boooyah! am i glad i don't have to do that ever again! yup. that's all it took. dunzo. no more big belly, no more peeing my pants because my bladder is squished into oblivion. no more nausea. no more 'rhoid-ridden ass.

i smiled to myself.

being pregnant is an experience that i know has changed me forever. carrying a little bugger inside you for 9-plus months and then delivering him/her will really give you perspective. you can laugh at a whole lot more petty-ass shit after you've done the whole childbirth thing.

plus, i got a whole mess of other shit to think about now. and, if i ever do get nostalgic, i'll just put on some tight jeans, wiggle my happy 'rhoid-free ass, and look at these pictures.

gotta love those crazy butterflies...


marley, 7 months


jack, 7 months


nate, 6 months